C a r e e r Z e n
by Larry Daly, 'The JOB DOC'
Chapter 2. PEOPLE STUDY
Everything we do is in the context of other people, so 'Peopling' is your #1 Study Project, all your life.
Collecting people is more than merely gathering names, addresses and phone numbers. It is the purposeful study of each person, to network and contact and for other purposes, from references and ideas to money loans, choosing partners, making affiliations, or avoiding, and more. This is not exploiting others, but preparation for forming alliances and power partnerships that benefit both parties. This is a two-way street of mutual benefit, because others study and network and ‘collect' you, also.
The following material will help you in choosing people for your Career Support Team, in jobs in your career, and in dealing with bosses, subordinates, and other people in every other career and life context.
[Author's Note: Condensing so much into so few pages is no less than a gross over-simplification of the hundred plus years of work and study in psychiatry and psychology by many thousands of great professionals, but this brief survey is still a useful working tool for the everyday real-life practical purposes in your careering. This is only a summary, from which we will apply to your particular goals, etc., in my personal coaching practice. But all of your life it is up to you to continue and deepen your research in this subject much further, for your own practical career benefit. Again: Self-help is the only real help. The Zen Careerist is advised to go to the original sources and study each of these things in depth for himself, and bring himself to professional ability in them.]
To most of us, ‘other people' are the biggest problems in our lives, so often so confusing, unpredictable, perverse, and worse, that we quickly give up trying to understand them. They must all be crazy, wacky, ignorant, stupid, or worse. I give up! Who can understand them?
Not really. Once we learn how to observe others, what clues and keys to look for, and what these indicate, we can see that most other people are not only easily understandable, but also largely predictable!
In fact, most people have such strong and consistent habits that they can hardly break them consciously themselves (e.g., smoking, drinking,gambling, dieting, etc.). Once we pay attention to certain indicators, we can gain very deep and practical insight into virtually any person we wish to know. The main rule to know is that they go by their rules, needs, perceptions, and priorities, not ours. Those things are never the same as ours. We must separate and distinguish the two. So, once you pay attention and find the keys to their basic rulesets, people become very easy to understand. This kind of purposeful observation is a subject that should be learned by every student, in every school, every term, being as important as reading and writing and numbers. It is not. In my Personal Career Coaching program, every client practices purposeful people study over and over, on every person he knows and meets, until it becomes almost automatic, as much science as art.
Using the following character factors, make up a People Study Observation Checklist for yourself, to use in the study of family and friends and others you know and work with, to start. (Later, if you call me at 876-5483 and become my client for private training and practice sessions, you can compare your list with mine; maybe yours will be better.) Then practice with your own Career Support Team for further deeper insight. (We will go into building your own CS Team in Chapter 8, but don't wait until then - doing it first by yourself, and making a few mistakes and learning from them, builds self- confidence and self-help, your most important strengths.)
Career preparation must consider and include all six major aspects of the full and successful human life. Yours, and the lives of all others you deal with. They are:
Intellectual (IQ);
Physical (PQ);
Social (SQ);
Business and work (BQ);
Religious or spiritual (RQ);
Emotional (EQ).
Each of these is connected to each of the others, so none can be studied in isolation. (Most people believe that another person's religious or social life has nothing to do with their career. In this book you will learn how wrong they are. You can't just chop people up into parts and study one or two parts to know the whole person. Ever hear the story of the seven blind men studying the elephant?)Every person you meet, as well as yourself, may be observed in terms of these characteristics. You might grade each person as good, average, or poor, or assign a 1-10 number, or however else makes sense to you, in each characteristic. First, try grading yourself on each, and then make up a checklist or cheat sheet to carry around with you to use in observing others.
Intellectual (IQ); reading, writing, math, knowledge, research, the scholastic abilities of learning and teaching, the sorting and organization and use of information through language, and thinking, discovering and creating, are some of the uses of the mind and its capabilities. We are what we think.
Physical (PQ); We can not yet do without the body animal, so we must know and keep it healthy, feed and care for it, know medicine and nutrition, exercise, etc.
Social (SQ); We are not alone - all we do is in the context of other humans, so we must learn the rules and ways of human interaction, from one to one to one to many, at work and play, at ceremony and ritual and function, at politics and all other human activities. We are a garrulous and gregarious species, groups and mobs and organizations, clubs and associations, towns and cities and nations. We are who we join. We are who we belong to, and who we do things with.
Business (BQ); We must all work for a living, in some way or other, and have a purpose in life, our reason for existence beyond existence itself, something productive that gives us individual meaning to ourselves and to others, a title, a significance. We are what we do.
Religious or Spiritual (RQ): The song and ceremony that calms and motivates, that produces art and music and warm feelings of safety and endurance; whether there is or is not a god in fact, we need one for this purpose and will invent him (or her or it) for our own needs. Even the most confirmed atheist usually admits of a human dimension beyond the merely physical and apparent.
Emotional (EQ); We are what we feel. Awareness and recognition of moods, the understanding and control of emotions, temper, characteristics, etc., make us humane or criminal. The Emotional sixth of each of us consists of the four major and seven minor feelings, moods, temperament, and includes: Anger - fury, outrage, resentment, wrath, exasperation, indignation, vexation, acrimony, animosity, annoyance, irritability, hostility, to extreme*: pathological hatred and violence. Sadness - grief, sorrow, cheerlessness, gloom, melancholy, self-pity, loneliness, dejection, despair, to extreme of pathological severe depression. Fear - anxiety, apprehension, nervousness, concern, consternation, misgiving, wariness, qualm, edginess, dread, fright, terror, to extremes of pathological phobia and panic. Enjoyment - happiness, joy, relief, contentment, bliss, delight, amusement, pride, sensual pleasure, thrill, rapture, gratification, satisfaction, euphoria, whimsy, ecstasy, and at the pathological extreme, mania. Love - acceptance, friendliness, trust, kindness, affinity, devotion, adoration, infatuation, agape, affection, sympathy, caring. Surprise - shock, astonishment, amazement, wonder. Disgust - contempt, disdain, scorn, abhorrence, aversion, distaste revulsion. Shame, guilt, embarrassment, chagrin, remorse, humiliation, regret, mortification, contrition. Jealousy (anger + sadness + fear). Virtues - hope, faith, courage, forgiveness, certainty, equanimity, patience. Vices doubt, complacency, sloth, torpor, boredom.
Once you perceive a person in all or most of these dimensions, you already know him or her very well. Start slowly, on just a few people, at first with a checklist, and in a year you will become very proficient. We will shortly examine more human dimensions for you to study and use, and later in this book will go a little further in this vital subject.
Here is a practice exercise: Describe the facial expressions of each of the above emotions, the facial muscles used, the gestures and postures and attitudes connected to and defining each, and what causes it, counteracts it, etc., and then practice each in a mirror, with your team.
Another exercise: Tell me what a ____ feels, thinks, wants, does not want, in general, and in several specific situations. [Insert at underlines each of the following:] policeman; politician; lawyer; doctor; mother; worker; boss; manager; accountant; garbage man; mailman; shopkeeper; artist; pilot; musician; writer, etc. Then choose some representative situations.
Moods: [more muted than emotions and last longer] grumpy, irritable (in which anger is more easily and quickly triggered), energetic, tired, etc.
Temperaments [general disposition or readiness to evoke a given mood or emotion that makes people:] melancholy, timid, or cheerful, calm, or fearful, at mildest extreme frets, angst, worries; and at worst clinical depression, panic attacks, phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorders, etc.
Emotional Skills
Identifying and labeling feelings
Expressing feelings
Assessing the intensity of feelings
Managing feelings
Delaying gratification
Controlling impulses
Reducing stress
Knowing difference between feelings and actions
Safely and considerately venting anger/rage, etc.Cognitive Skills
Self-talk
Perceiving and interpreting social cues
Decision-making and problem-solving steps
Understanding the perspective (POV) of others
Understanding behavioral norms
Holding a positive attitude toward life
Self-awareness - realistic expectations about self and othersBehavioral Skills
Nonverbal: communication through eye contact, facial expressiveness, stance, posture, attitude, gestures, etc.
Verbal: making clear requests, responding effectively to criticism, resisting negative influences, listening to others, helping others, participating in positive peer groupsSelf-Science Curriculum
[The following from a program by Karen Stone and Harold Q. Dillehunt for high school age children. How can these be expanded for and applied to business and use in your particular career, jobs, work, etc.? Evaluate yourself and others in each of these characteristics also, and plan how to increase your ability to achieve a 10 in each. Add these to your personal learning list, as necessary. Chap 3.]Self-awareness: Observing yourself and recognizing your feelings, building a vocabulary for feelings, knowing the relationship between thoughts, feelings, and reactions.
Personal decision-making: examining your actions and knowing their consequences; knowing if thought or feeling is ruling a decision; applying these insights to issues such as sex and drugs.
Managing feelings: monitoring self-talk to catch negative messages such as internal put-downs; realizing what is behind a feeling (e.g., the hurt that underlies anger); finding ways to handle fears and anxieties, anger and sadness.
Handling stress: learning the value of exercise, guided imagery, relaxation methods.
Empathy: understanding others' feelings and concerns and taking their perspective; appreciating the differences in how people feel about things.
Communications: talking about feelings effectively; becoming a good listener and question asker; distinguishing between what someone does or says and your own reactions or judgements about it; sending helpful and supportive messages instead of blame.
Self-disclosure: valuing and rewarding openness in another and building trust in a relationship; knowing when its safe to risk talking about your private feelings. Sharing begets sharing, and is therapeutic to both parties.
Insight: identifying patterns in your emotional life and reactions; recognizing similar and different patterns in others
Self-acceptance: feeling pride and seeing yourself in a positive light; recognizing your strengths and weaknesses; being able to laugh at yourself.
Personal responsibility: taking responsibility; recognizing the consequences of your decisions and actions; accepting your feelings and moods; following through on commitments (e.g., studying)
Assertiveness: stating your concerns and feelings without anger or passivity
Group dynamics: cooperation; knowing when and how to lead, when to follow or go your own way.
Conflict resolution: how to fight fair with other kids, parents, teachers; win-win model for negotiating compromise.
Now, observing each person you know purposefully, with each of these in mind (make a checklist, if that will help), and for his peer relationship and learning type and other personality characteristics, as above and following, you can understand a lot about him. It is a little harder and takes a little longer to know what he wants and why, and what he fears, but if you are looking for clues to those things as you deal with him, and listen to him, and think about him when you are alone, you will soon gain a very deep understanding of his motives and drives. Then, in conversation and dealing with him (but don't ask or cue or hurry him), you can test and correct and confirm and refine your evaluations. This whole job can not be done overnight, nor ever completely, nor permanently, since people do change, but if you work at it, you will be far ahead of those who do not understand other people, and can not deal with them.
Self-Education, and Leading and Teaching Others
In your career you will often have to learn from others, and teach others, help your team or crew or subordinates do a better job for you, get them to do things your way, and so on, beginning immediately, the moment you want your Career Support Team to do what you want. You need to learn and be able to practice everything you possibly can about people.Conventional education systems ignore the difference in learner types, the ways in which most people absorb information and handle and store knowledge, experience, and life. They concentrate on teaching (input), not on learning (intake). Therefore, traditional classroom teaching methods and materials are highly IN-effective. They treat every student the same, and force all students to memorize the material and then test them on what they have memorized. To be truly effective with adults in career settings, the educator instead must consider the different kinds of learners, then present his material in ways to match the learner type he is facing and seeking to teach, train, help, influence, etc. You must concentrate on how he absorbs, before choosing how to send him your messages.
What are the six major Learner Types? Along with basic absorption channels (left brain / textual, and right brain / graphic), and the three NeuroLinguistic means (visual, auditory, kinesthetic), there are six general types of learning methods. They are: Example, Experiential, Logic, Discovery, Tunnel, and Emotional.
We all have, and all use, all six of these abilities at different times and on different subjects, depending on the situation and material, and may use several types of learning to master some things, but in action, on most types of material, most of us use preponderantly one or another approach on most subjects.
It is up to the person teaching to understand what type of learner he is facing, and present his lesson material accordingly, for it to be absorbed most effectively. The learner can't change, and is seldom aware of what type he is, or that there are types, so the teacher must become proficient in all six basic presentation methods.
1. Some people can pick up something the first time they see others do it, and are called example types; they learn by example. Just show them.
2. Others can't catch on no matter how many times they see another do something, but have to experience it, do it themselves, work it out for themselves. They are called experiential learners; they learn by actually doing or personally practicing and experiencing it until they absorb and ‘learn' it. Get out of their way and let them try, and fail, until they get it.
3. Then there are those who use logic, saying to themselves, "This peg is square, and that hole is square, so they must fit, but that third part is rounded, so it doesn't fit." They include the abstract analytical subtype, and often become mathematicians and scientists and technicians. Get them to explain it to you.
4. Then there are those who operate by discovery and revelation, gaining a very personal grasp of the subject (whether right or wrong), or some corner or angle of it, and want to share it with everyone else, often becoming mystics, missionaries, or teachers (and often bad ones). Ask them wider questions, until they get the whole thing.
5. Then there are those who have tunnel vision type minds, who will work so hard, with such concentration on something, that they can eventually grasp almost any subject well, though it may take time. Give them time.
6. And, finally, those with so much emotion and feeling that they seem to simply and instantly absorb anything if they like it, but can't possibly learn something if it does not appeal to them on an emotional level. Let them like you, and they will gladly learn all you can teach.
Which type are you? Which type is your student? Boss? Partner? Co - worker? Team mate?
Whether dealing with a boss or a student, once you understand this typing process, and have practiced it in my coaching sessions, it takes you only seconds to observe which type you are facing, and saves you later headaches by helping you present your material the way they can best absorb it, instead of trying one method for all people. One size does not fit all, when dealing with people.
These basic learning approach preferences are largely (but not solely) determined by the person's mind type, which is usually flexible at birth, but may become fixed soon after, and is usually certain and fixed by age 2 to 4, well before entering school.
Recent experiments suggest that about 45% of us are left-brained (textual), 45% right-brained (graphic), about 10% more or less balanced, and that we are all emotional about some things, logical (somewhat) about others, and that when emotion and logic are in conflict, emotion always, without exception, takes over.
Some people are result-oriented (just get it done). Others are process-oriented (it has to be done right). This is often the result of the first time the child becomes conscious of others as individuals and begins observing them; if he likes or respects the person he is are watching, and he observes that person getting good results or clearly enjoying what he is doing, the child will probably emulate him and his orientation. But if the child dislikes the model, or sees failure, frustration, dislike of the task, he will probably choose the other orientation. Or it may be from the person directing him the first times in tasks given him, telling him to get it donme or to do it right. The degree of patience will also modify that choice: high impatience people usually become result-oriented, and those with plenty of patience often choose a process orientation. Or vice-versa: result-oriented people may become impatient (especially with process-oriented types), and process-oriented people often develop enormous patience and tenacity. Earliest role models, peer relationships, and love- or recognition-need also affect this choice of someone to emulate. By the time you meet him as worker or student, the choice is well fixed and probably not alterable without great time and effort. Best to choose the type of person by the work or task you need done, result getter for speed, and process type for critical quality work.
We are all passive and obedient about most things, aggressive about some other things, and resistant to or about a few personal things we dislike or don't even want to discuss or hear about, and especially not from some people or at certain times.
Our dealings with others often influence how we approach and treat and teach and learn a given subject:
Some people are leaders, most followers, and a few are loners, truly independent doers, learners, and thinkers. Some leaders go with the status quo, while others are contrarian, bringing their own methods and goals, and sometimes change history. If we have a very good leader / teacher, we can learn almost anything quickly and easily, along with him or her, whatever method that person is or uses on most any subject.
However, if we take an emotional dislike to that leader / teacher we will not only not learn, but may resist learning anything, immediately and perhaps for the rest of our lives, about that subject, because of that person and our experience with him or her. (How we learn often determines how we work, and how we deal with others, at work, and in our lives.)
Peer Relationships
We are never truly alone, but interact with others every day of our lives, in close or more distant relationships.Finally, our peer interactions often determine to a large extent what we learn, and how, and how we get ahead in life and in our careers. How this person or that group, or any person or group, all our lives from our earliest experiences, treats us, accepts or rejects us, or how we accept or reject the group or person, has a lot to do with learning, and with work. We can accept and be passive or emulate or reject, be emulated or be accepted or be rejected by others, or experience their passivity about us.
The perfectly balanced group or class or team, composed of a charismatic leader / teacher, and accepting, matched, fully interactive students, all using all of their abilities to impart and absorb the given subject, is a myth.
In actual practice in 99% of traditional classrooms and workplaces, most teachers and managers are so defensive and inward, so faulted, so lacking in leadership and teaching abilities as well as psychological perception depth, and so time- and work-pressured, and the students and workers so varied in approach, so rejective and resistant to each other and to the subject and material and teacher and teaching approach, and the material so awful, so unrealistic and simplistic and boringly pre-digested, that only 5% of potential learning or good work occurs.
In real life, at least 95% of all learning happens outside of the formal educational system (and largely in spite of the formal educational system), from movie and tv role models, at home, by trial and error, at sports and in other groups and social settings, at work, hanging out, shopping at the mall, and in every other venue, including reading newspapers and magazines and books. When what the student learns here in real life is in conflict with what he or she is taught in school, formal education is the loser, and additionally suffers as an inevitable side-effect a permanent and overwhelming distrust of schools and teachers. [Someday perhaps schools will learn how to teach from real life, on a real-time basis, and recover that respect they need. This is something corporations can do in private programs right from the start, largely discarding traditional standardized teach-and-test and using direct-access materials and methods such as those in my SASS Discipline,designed specifically for company use. For details, see my book 'The Corporate Option Plan (COP)', and my forthcoming book, 'Future Education'.]
At work, the same awful situation is most common: most managers and workers are so at odds, so unimaginative and resistant to change, the daily work so boring, companies so dysfunctional, that probably only 10% of what could happen does.
In your Career Support Team, and in all working and learning activities all your life, you must understand what personality type you are, and understand how others feel about and works with and perceives your type, and learn how you can deal most effectively with each other type.
Try to build your Career Support Team* of either all the same personality type, yours if possible, or complementary rather than opposing types, or equally, as in one from each of four other communication types or the six different type students, so they complement or balance each other. (*also your work groups, project teams, etc.)
There is much more to it, of course: Because of all these differences and factors (example: teacher type, methods used, kind of material, whether individuals are tunnel, logic, emotional, experiential or practice type, their intake and output rates, retention, memorization decay, recall / recognition rate, refreshment by use, need and necessity, respect for and emotions about teacher or leader), getting a good Personal Career Support Team together may be complex, take time, and directing it may require your best efforts, but your career rewards will be commensurately high.
Motivating: The peer and environment context also affects performance. If a person is PE (peer emulating), PA (peer accepting), and PD (peer dependent), and thus a good follower, he will be strongly affected by praise and co-operative effort, and usually do well in any team. So will ABP (accepted by peers), PNE (peer non-emulators) who are PD (peer dependent) and EBP (emulated by their peers); this type usually becomes the leader of any group he or she is in, and usually a Type A (Alpha) male or female in later life. However, the RBP (rejected by peers), PR (peer rejecting), PID (peer independent), PNE (peer non-emulating) will usually become loners, either angry-emotional or logic-intellectual based, become very successful if they can overcome whatever their problem is, or sometimes total failures, suicides, criminals, etc. [These are observable results. You can test and observe them for yourself to verify, but first get rid of your preconceptions and clear your mind. I like to study videotapes of people interacting, over and over, until I can find constant and reliable patterns and indicators. This takes a lot of time, but the results can be startling, and enlightening. Try it as a group brain-storming exercise, seeking discovery of the new, rather than confirmation of already-held beliefs.]
The POD (peer over-dependent) is another criminal potential who may or may not be a good worker, but is usually not, and often a social success, though often an economic and personal failure. The salesman, or performer, constantly seeking approval and love from others, might be a good example.
There are other peer-related combinations and conclusions which can be drawn from simple observation of a given person, both alone and with others in one-on-one and in group relationships. Is he first or last chosen when a game or ball team is forming? That will tell his level of acceptance by peers. Does she accept invitations quickly or slowly or accept all or reject most of them? Simple observation tells us her level of acceptance or rejection of peers. Does she also accept or reject non-peers, younger or older, superiors, inferiors? Is he aloof, or a sycophant? These are all easy and relatively quick to observe in their interactions with others.
The cause or origin of such responses (reward or fear or experience or whatever) may be more difficult to discover, but it can be done and may be greatly illuminating, but is, for our day-to-day purposes, not really necessary. This is a practical system, to be applied in action, not great theory. We are not interested in therapy or changing the person, but simply seeing what kind of person he is, so we can match material, work methods, and person type, for the best results, at least time and cost. If you are to successfully manage others you must know, and use, this knowledge, on those you manage, and in your relationships with them, to achieve the practical results you seek.
There is the further complication of change of type from day to day, depending on situation, like or dislike of peers or subject or work to be done, the energy or tiredness level of the person that day, whether he or she is working alone or with support, and so forth.
Management is not simple or easy. That is why there are so few good managers. Further complications include weather, diet, brain chemicals level and balance, personal problems interfering with concentration or application, and half a dozen other factors, but, once again, we can readily observe the person's signals and posture and interaction, and accordingly ease or add to the load, or give praise or support or motivation or help, as needed at that moment. No deep psychology is needed, merely common sense and close and constant attention to personal detail.
Paying detailed attention by each to each other, and with only 3 to 5 people in your Career Support Team, or a small work or project team, if each person knows and is conscious of such characteristics, makes agreement possible and practical - you can all reach interactive consensus in minutes, if not seconds.
Make up your own glossary, arranging it as you see fit:
PA Peer Accepting
PR Peer Rejecting
ABP Accepted By Peers
RBP Rejected By Peers
PE Peer Emulating
PNE Peer Non-Emulating
EBP Emulated By Peers
NEP Not Emulated by Peers
PD Peer Dependent
PID Peer IndependentOr create your own peer relationship chart or form or spreadsheet, and use a copy of it for each person you meet or must work with. Extra work, but well worth it. It might look something like this:
Peers Superiors Inferiors SS OS Accepting Accepted By Emulates Emulated By Ignores Ignored By Rejects Rejected By Depends Upon Independent Of
(SS = Same Sex; OS = Other Sex)Just observing the person among others and putting a quick checkmark in each box, as appropriate, gives you a very quick and very good picture of that person's peer relationship pattern. Use this, or design your own form, as you see best, after completing the additional parts below.
Social Skills
Other interaction factors affect your team, your work, and your career: the social skills and abilities of yourself and each team member or other person you deal with.For instance, a person with poor social skills may reject peers as a defense or self-protection, fearing their ridicule if he makes a social error, but may not actually be PR (peer rejecting); offering him some training and practice in social skills areas may help you deal with him effectively.
A person with a sensitivity about a physical or speech problem or other area can often be relaxed and the person given social confidence through acceptance and brief training in the ability to handle such situations successfully, and even gracefully.
Peer emulation (PE) is normal in humans and all other creatures, a way of learning survival skills. But there is almost always one who must touch the paint to see if it is still wet, climb out on thin branches, and otherwise dare to test his environment, no matter how often warned and hurt by experience. Maybe every group needs one like that, to send out ahead through the minefields of life, to find dangers to avoid and a safe way for all the rest of the tribe to go? If the physical type, maybe they jump motorcycles over gorges; if the mental type, maybe they find polio vaccines and discover electricity and invent airplanes, no matter how often warned that it is impossible. Lose a few, win a few. Learn the difference; eschew the sociopath and cultivate the socio-benevolent.
What kind of people do you need in your Career Support Team, and under you at work, and in your other endeavors? Do you want people with high adaptability, ability to accept change, or inability to alter anything once learned? A high curiosity index (CI .9 on scale of .0 to .9) will usually indicate an extremely flexible person, one who does his own thinking, and dares to be different, and can change his mind about anything the moment new information comes along, while a .0 or .1 might suggest a person with a plant- or machine-like mentality, so programmed than any change is virtually impossible. Sometimes you do need this type. The rule-based person may score a .5, and some creativity and flexibility built into that rule set might make such a person more adaptable than they might otherwise be naturally.
An AE rating for Action Effectiveness may also be useful. Some people do much less than they actually can, through fear or other perceived barriers to taking some kind of action and obtaining a greater degree of effectiveness in their lives and work. For instance, if told that such a thing is not done, that it is not socially proper, many women do not ask for raises and promotions in their jobs. If told that they will be ostracized for wearing a warm but ugly coat on a cold day, they will wear something pretty but thin, and suffer the shivering cold needlessly, though they know they are being counter effective. Others, less inhibited, say and do anything that pops into their minds, before they think out the results, a high action but low effectiveness ratio. Knowing how to do something but not doing it, freezing up when initiative is necessary or beneficial, inability to make a necessary decision, can all be severe obstacles in work, careers, learning, and in life. An AE unbalance can seriously interfere with work and interactions with peers in your team context. Unless a particular task or situation demands otherwise, what you are probably seeking is a very balanced person, but they are quite rare.
Observing a person for only a few minutes, once you know what you are looking for, will tell you their self-discipline, intellectual and social freedom, imagination, and whether they have a sensible degree of AE balance. You can often do this intuitively, but it is more reliable in practice to do it consciously and methodically.
Observe also your subject's attention (IO) direction. Too many people are looking at their shoes while life is going on around them, some so attentive inward (I) they do not even know there is a life out there. Others think about everything happening outside (O) of themselves so much that their personal lives are total disasters. Thinking 99% about her baby and 1% about herself is logical for a mother while the little one needs so much care to survive in the early months, but some balance should come when the child is older. How many men neglect their families totally when they are building careers, only to find that when success finally comes, they've been divorced and there is no family left? IO fluctuates during the many periods and events and stages of life, so what is normal in one may be quite different from what is normal in another. In the team context, a very low I and very high O is needed, to perform well. If you observe the person to be too absorbed in himself or his personal or sexual or economic or other problems, or anything else outside of the team's work, you may need to take immediate corrective action, or release him to take care of it, and let him return when he is ready to work again. This is not always because he is introvert or extrovert, but examine that also. Most of us are naturally and largely one or the other. Giving work in which the introverted subject can exercise and practice more outgoing interactions may be beneficial, as may be partnering him with a more extroverted person who can loosen him up a little (being aware of the danger of one so swamping the other that the situation becomes worse). You can change people, somewhat, directly and indirectly, when you must, but be careful.
Those in good control of their lives often say, "Just talk to him, and tell him to change." Bull. A cow can't fly; a bird does not give milk; you don't use a racehorse for pulling a beer wagon, or enter a Clydesdale in the Preakness. We are what we are. We simply do not and can not change when told to, no matter how well-meaning or overbearing the teller is. "Get some self-discipline." "Take charge of your life." "Pay attention." Getting people to change their smaller daily habits (smoking, diet?) is difficult enough. To get anyone to change his basic personality characteristics is virtually impossible, short of major psycho - trauma. Einstein was not able to keep a boring patent office job, but could see what others could not, and could work out problems most of the rest of us cannot even grasp. Every person has abilities and inabilities. All you can do is observe your worker or team candidate, try to evaluate his variation from the desirable, and either accept or reject, or, sometimes, make adaptations, either in the person, the team, or the work, or a combination. A short man can't reach a tall man's high shelf. We can't put the short man on the rack and stretch him, and screaming at him to "grow up" will not help, but moving the shelf to a lower level, or providing a step, might calmly and effectively solve the problem for everyone. What shelves can you move around and put within reach of your people? By knowing and understanding (not changing or 'curing') their personalities, abilities, and inabilities, how can you help your team do more, faster, better, at less cost, sooner? How can you match up those you have so they can interact more productively? How can you help the left-brain person draw better and the right-brain one write better? If you can't devise a solution, is there someone else on your team who can - they are there to be used - or can you find another person outside the team, maybe with high curiosity and imagination, and get him to help?
P-Level. What is the participation level of the worker? Some people easily work with others, fully invest all their energy and abilities to make the team and the project a success. Others fear losing autonomy, giving more than they feel they are getting back, being taken advantage of, and exploited. Some may want to help, but fear rejection if they volunteer. Others simply stand back and observe, with no intention of participation ('not my job'), or no personal interest in the work or subject or result. In most cases, simply asking a person (sincerely, not challengingly, not sarcastically, not cynically) if they would like to help or participate, or asking what they might like to do, may be enough to break the ice. This Participation (P) Level of each person is easy to observe, and, for most, not difficult to bring up to par. By doing a little extra to make him feel welcome and share with him a little extra, he can relax and lower his defenses for a time, or become involved if he feels some degree of personal incentive or reward, if no more than praise or simple recognition. Several such successes will do a lot to melt his future reserve and fears, and a little training in making others welcome, sharing, social interaction skills, and so forth, giving him charge of another with the same problem, putting him on the other side of the same situation, helping him see his own situation from outside, and see solutions, may help him and others. This applies to alleviating some other problems above, also. The P-Level observer non-participant ('not my job' type) must be identified as soon as possible and dislodged before you become dependent upon him and fail and crash, unless you actually need that type's characteristics in your work.
Now add each of these items to the table you began above:
Curiosity Index
Social Skills
Sensitivity (or compensation) about: _______
A/E (Action / Effectiveness) balance
I/O (inward outward attention direction)
P (participation) -levelIn practice, you don't need Sigmund Freud or Carl Jung or highly trained specialists in your practical daily evaluation of others, just careful observation, common sense, and knowledge of these basic generalities.
Personality Evaluation Tools
The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is designed for quick and easy use by anyone (e.g., highly practical use by salespeople), uses only the major four types of personality, can even help you decide what kind of person you are talking to over the phone, and can help you quickly decide the best way to choose and deal with your team.While we all, teachers, students, administrators, constantly cycle through the four basic types in our daily dealings with others and situations and social and work and personal contexts, this observational test helps you find the core personality in the candidate for your support or work team. This is not simply labeling, but a method by which you observe certain behavior and speech cues, and then deal with him or her according to the best response method to personality type indicated by those cues. It is very basic and effective use of psychology. It leads the person to believe you are the same type, and thus enables an immediate rapport which eases communication and other personal interaction with that person. It is really worth studying in depth.
The four basic personality types are
The goal-oriented go-getter who needs to be in control. In dealing with this person in a sales situation, you focus on savings, efficiency, and profits. How would you deal with him or her in a teamwork or career situation? Or in a study and self-improvement situation?
The friendly, enthusiastic person who is relationship-oriented, not task-oriented. You would sell to this socializer by talking about ideas, dreams, and goals.
The systematic, analytical problem-solver. You give this person organization, structure, price comparison, facts and figures. Would he make a good researcher?
The supportive, warm, nurturing person, who makes decisions based on trust, relationships, and the opinions of others. You sell to him by emphasizing harmony, security, and steadiness. Would he make a good team member?
That is for sales situations. In other situations, what do you think is the best way to deal with each type?
[In my career coaching we go into these in depth. Each participant role-plays each type in various contexts, with others, in front of the video monitor, so he can see his mistakes and make immediate improvements, until he becomes adept at recognition and response and forming good and effective working relationships with every type.]
Business Personalities
In your career, as professional or manager, employee or employer, people are the most important thing you deal with all day, not money or stock or machines or paperwork, or anything else. People.A few good people in the right slots can make the difference between profit and loss, boom and bust. Just one or two wrong persons in critical positions can bring down a large organization. They have, many times; military, business, and political histories demonstrate. Can you think of any recent examples?
Do you want to take that chance with your company or work or career? Learn your personality types, and use them well. Ignore them and treat everyone the same, and, guaranteed, you can kiss career success goodbye.
The following material will help you know how best to use each personality type, what best for, and the best motivations and rewards for each type, using Myers-Briggs Type methods, to obtain most effecting and beneficial results for all concerned. Forget trial and error. It's mostly error. Put the right person in the job the first time.
There are only 16 different personality types. That's not too much to learn. While every human is different from each other, we are all more like each other than we are different. The Myers-Briggs Typing method works on the fact that every human has four major characteristics in common:
Every person is either a little more introvert or a little more extravert, tuned inward or outward. Each person is either a little more emotional (a feeler) or a little more impersonal or abstract (a thinker). Some people depend primarily on their five physical senses (Sensor) or more on their intuition (Intuitor). How we each perceive or judge the world affects how we act in it.
That's it. That's all there is. Easy.
The four combinations of each of these four characteristics equals 16 basic personality types.
Every job is best done by a person with characteristics matching the needs of that job. If a job requires creativity and originality and resourcefulness, then you must find a person with those abilities to do it, which some personality types have. If a job is boring, you must find a person who can handle tedium, which some types can do,and others can't. To put an artist to washing dishes will be just as unproductive and wasteful as putting an accountant at the drawing board.
It is the personality type which determines what interests the person has and the kind of work he or she does best.
Each personality type has a best and worst place in the workplace. If you don't know about personalities and are not able to knowingly and purposefully address and effectively direct each of the different basic 16 personality types, you face severe career difficulties.
This is so important to you in your career and in dealing with all kinds of other people all your life that it is truly worth investing the money and time in deeper study of the Myers-Briggs books, but briefly, here are the 16 basic types and their basic temperaments, and then where they usually fit best in career work areas.
1 ENFJ Extravert, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging
2 INFJ Introvert, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging3 ENFP Extravert, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving
4 INFP Introvert, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving5 ENTJ Extravert, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging
6 INTJ introvert, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging7 ENTP Extravert, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving
8 INTP Introvert, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving9 ESTJ Extravert, Sensing, Thinking, Judging
10 ISTJ Introvert, Sensing, Thinking, Judging11 ESFJ Extravert, Sensing, Feeling, Judging
12 ISFJ Introvert, Sensing, Feeling, Judging13 ESTP Extravert, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving
14 ISTP Introvert, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving15 ESFP Extravert, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving
16 ISFP Introvert, Sensing, Feeling, PerceivingNote: See technical aspects of these characteristics and how to tell what type a particular person is, below.
The 16 Basic Temperaments Are:
SJ Sensing Judgers ESTJ ISTJ ESFJ ISFJ
Down to earth, practical, decisive. At best can be solid, trustworthy, dependable; at worst inflexible, dogmatic, unimaginative; need structured setting, go by the rules. Most seek material rewards more than praise or position.SP Sensing Perceivers ESTP ISTP ESFP ISFP
Active, impulsive, here & now; risk-taking, adaptable, easy-going, pragmatic; responsive, spontaneous; don't like too much structure; want facts and real problems, immediate results, not theories or ideas; so give them challenging action work, maybe helping other people, and let them be heroes in their own eyes; sometimes keen observers of human nature and can be good negotiators; efficient and economical, sometimes good with tools. At best can be resourceful, exciting, and fun; at worst can be irresponsible, unreliable, childish. Praise results as well as their actions.NF Intuitive Feelers ENFJ INFJ ENFP INFP
People people; seek meanings, relationships, possibilities, make decisions based on personal value and integrity; have natural ability to understand, connect with, and motivate others; often spiritual, philosophical, at their best can be charismatic, receptive, accepting; at worst can be moody, unpredictable, overemotional. Need personally meaningful work. Praise them, rather than their work.NT Intuitive Thinkers ENTJ INTJ ENTP INTP
Problem solvers; usually intellectual and competent; always curious, constantly acquiring knowledge for its own sake or strategic value; are logical, analytic, independent, set high standards, have vision, great innovators; at best are confident, witty, imaginative, extremely creative; at worst can be arrogant, remote, too complex to understand, have trouble with authority, can be elitist, fail to see how they affect others, not interested in harmony or others' feelings. Give them the toughest jobs demanding mental resourcefulness. Praise their work and results more than them personally.
Communication Style Interactions
There are four basic communication styles, a lot like the above, being intuitor, thinker, feeler, and sensor. Others of the same communication style will think you are just like them, and therefore perfectly okay, but . . .If you are primarily an Intuitor,
[1] a Thinker may decide you are too abstract or 'far out' and conclude that you have not backed up your points well. Give him ideas, concepts, information, and time to think.
[2] a Feeler may find you overly intellectual and theoretical. Give him meaning, value, integrity, personal relationship.
[3] a Sensor may think you are too idealistic; give him structure, rules, something practical to do.If you are primarily a Thinker:
[1] an Intuitor may decide that you lack vision and are too cautious. Give him problems to solve, ideals, risk.
[2] A Feeler may think that you not very enthusiastic, that you play things safe, that you are bound by tradition. Give him personal open-ended opportunity connections.
[3] A Sensor may find that you are too analytical, and not action-oriented enough. Give him practical choices to achieve.
[Finish the next two for yourself; think them out]If you are primarily a Feeler
[1] An Intuitor may decide that you worry too much. Give him _____
[2] A Thinker may see you as impulsive. Give him ___
[3] A Sensor may find you innovative but impractical. Give him ___If you are primarily a Sensor:
[1] An Intuitor may think you are too simplistic and 'shoot from the hip'. Give him ___
[2] A Thinker may conclude that you are shrewd, but lack depth. Give him ___
[3] A Feeler may find you insensitive and task-oriented rather than people-oriented. Give him ___If you are primarily Left Brain, Right Brain people may see you as___ Give them _____
If you are primarily Right Brain, Left Brain people may see you as ___ Give them ____
(from The Lifetime Career Manager by Cabrera & Albrecht; read it, very good!)
Summary
There it is. That's basically all there is to it. (In my career coaching practice, of course, we will go into all this, and more, in real depth, and drill and rehearse you over and over until you are proficient in the above -- I told you to expect hard work.) When applied to people in your career, on your job, from bosses to subordinates, and in networking, in building your Support Team, this practical method can be of great usefulness, and is certainly far better than using one manner on everyone, or attempting to treat everyone as a totally different individual, taking a whole year to learn each one in depth.While personality response flexibility is most effective in one-to-one relationships, it is also of great practical use in small groups such as your 3- to 5-person personal Career Support Team, any project or work team, or other group.
You should study these several systems yourself in depth and work out your own methods based on personality, mental, and learning characteristics, Neuro-Linguistic verbal, visual, kinesthetic types, reaction types, and other options, and refine it in practice, to get the most effective and practical results you seek.
RULE: Everybody is not like you, and cannot be, any more than you can just change and be like someone else, like them especially, no matter how hard you try. You must deal with the world, as it is, made up of other people, of all different kinds, as they are, and as you are, knowing, accepting, and understanding these differences, and how to best deal with each and all of them, if you seek career success.
You must learn to observe and classify people, to be able to understand them. There used to be enough time to treat every person as an individual; today you may meet a hundred people a day, so there's simply not enough time for pleasantries and an in-depth relationship with every one.
There are only twelve major items to be observed in dealing with any person. That's not too much. Make up your own chart or checklist, in any order you see best, to keep it organized, and not forget anything.
They are: Mental type; Learning type (absorption vector); Intake - output levels; Peer relationships; Social skills; flexibility / adaptability to change (and to new information not fitting the previously known); C curiosity / adaptability; Attention (IO balance), P-Level, Myers-Briggs Type, communication style; neuro-linguistic type.
It's not easy, but not all that hard either. The main thing is to really concentrate and pay close attention in observing your subject person, one at a time, and in groups, to determine his or her preferences, relationships, priorities, etc. It's much better and faster than trying to treat everyone the same, or everyone differently, without any system of cues and clues.
One of the best reasons to develop your own Career Support Team is to learn and practice this science and art of peopling in a safe private place, and make your necessary learning mistakes in that supportive environment, rather than out in public, where a small mistake can have large and painful results.
Or join my Career Coaching Program (212.876.5483), where we learn and practice all these vital peopling skills, drilling them over and over if necessary, in my supportive coaching environment, videotaping and analyzing role - playing exercises to help you see your faults and correct them, from both sides, to develop your self - confidence and interaction skills, and perfect your peopling abilities.
--- End of Chapter Two ---
Click HERE to go to the Introduction
Click HERE to go to Table of Contents
Click HERE to go to Chapter 1 Your Career, your Life Work
Click HERE to go to Chapter 2 People Study
Click HERE to go to Chapter 3 Your Career in Context
Click HERE to go to Chapter 4 Setting Your Career and Life Goals
Click HERE to go to Chapter 5 Long Term Career Development
Click HERE to go to Chapter 6 Career Strategies and Tactics
Click HERE to go to Chapter 7 Realistic Expectations
Click HERE to go to Chapter 8 Your Personal Career Support Team
Click HERE to go to Chapter 9 Team Management; Research and Writing
Click HERE to go to Chapter 10 How to become an Expert
Click HERE to go to Chapter 11 Miscellaneous, and Executive Summary
Click HERE to go to Chapter 12 Your Personal Career Research Resources
Click HERE to go to Chapter 13 Those Awful People At Work Problems
Click HERE to go to Chapter 14 Assumptions and Expectations
Click HERE to go to Appendices
Click HERE to go to Bibliography
Click HERE to go to Index
Click HERE to go to Personal Career Coaching FAQ
Click HERE to return to my HomePage, to access COP and other documents
Careerists, please contact me directly to obtain your own personal printed copy of Career Zen, more complete and up to date, especially with the latest on Internet career information sources and research. Note that Career Zen is privately published, is only for my clients, and is not available in any bookstore or from any other source.
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